Thursday, September 15, 2011

Reflections on Transition

The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Right now my life is in transition. I’ve decided to leave my full-time job working at BYU for a variety of reasons, but mostly so that my schedule is freer to pursue other interests which include and are not limited to just food, fitness, and home! In fact, in anticipation of this departure on Friday, September 16th, I’ve already made a 3 ½ page list of “projects” I need to work on. Yes, friends, I do know how to keep myself busy!

There is certainly a mixture of emotions that run through me, ranging from excitement to sadness. I'm mostly happy and anxious about this change because, after all, this is what I've wanted for as long as I've had the job. Don't get me wrong, the job has been good. It has been needed on so many levels, more than just financial, but there's something so emotionally and physically draining to be chained to a 8-5, M-F schedule year-round. I know many are struggling to find employment and I was fortunate to be hired at BYU during an especially difficult "frozen" period, but the winds have changed. The tides have turned. The frost has lifted. The road has diverged! And it is finally time for me to move on.

I'll miss my co-workers and the wonderful atmosphere of BYU, but I won't miss the grind--the waking up at 6:00 am. The busyness of going from one job to the next and the wearing of so many different hats. I will continue to teach yoga and hopefully a few more classes in the future, but for now, it's time to return to a different sort of life.

And just in case you were wondering how Hylan is feeling about this, he's on board! I'm not sure he'll complain too much when I once again wield my knife skills in the kitchen and he actually gets a home-cooked meal more than 3-4 times a month. HA! I'm very much looking forward to cooking (and not just assembling) a whole lot more often!

In fact, other than more gourmet meals, I'm already scheming to have a Pumpkin Pie Tasting Party. Some day in the next two months I want to bake up at least 6 different kinds of pumpkin pie recipes (including varying crust recipes) and invite a whole bunch of people over to fill out evaluation forms to rank the best pies. I'm salivating just thinking about it. That just sounds so delightful to me.

Anyway, I think the Frost poem captures the sort of melancholy feel of transitional periods. It's not so much a matter of which path is taken, just that a decision is made, and later in a reflective moment, that decision will be looked at as one that "has made all the difference." I certainly look back on the "fork in the road" decision to go back to full-time work as one that has definitely made all the difference!

There are many more forks and bends and dips and hills yet to traverse, but I can say that I feel at peace with this particular road choice. Not to mention, I plan to find more literal serenity in a beautiful fall yellow wood soon, because I just may be able to make time to resume hiking! Oh, how I have missed those times!

1 comment:

Bridget said...

I have been in that similar situation and felt similar feelings... I think the anticipation of the unfamiliar can make us anxious. I'm super excited for you though! I can't believe tomorrow is your last day! Holy smokes! I hope they throw you a wicked party!