Saturday, March 15, 2008

Awful Aunt Jemima & Mrs. Butterworthless

Sorry Aunt J and Mrs. B. I just don't get it.

I don't get how one could ever eat that fake evil high fructose corn syrup crap on top of a delicious stack of fluffy whole grain buttermilk waffles.

It's a crime against nature. Up in New England and Canada they grow these things called Maple trees, and in the spring time they tap the trees, collect their sap, and then boil it down for hours until the result is silky delicious amber colored syrup heaven.

Let's compare:

Aunt Jemima Original INGREDIENTS: CORN SYRUP, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, WATER, CELLULOSE GUM, CARAMEL COLOR, SALT, SODIUM BENZOATE AND SORBIC ACID (PRESERVATIVES), ARTIFICIAL AND NATURAL FLAVORS, SODIUM HEXAMETAPHOSPHATE.

Maple Syrup: "The only ingredient in Western Family 100% Pure Maple Syrup is the sap from the Sugar Maple Tree" (From the back of my generic brand jar--generic! It doesn't matter; it's still all natural.)


Between the above two, there is no comparison. I rest my case. If I don't have pure maple syrup, I will make a simple syrup out of equal parts brown sugar and water boiled together before I'll ever eat that high fructose--I can't pronounce most of the ingredients--corn syrup. So, spend a few extra bucks and make sure to read label--ONLY ONE INGREDIENT! I promise you'll never go back.

Second place is worth mentioning. All natural Huckleberry Syrup from Idaho (and/or surrounding Western states) does make an acceptable alternative for your favorite pancake or waffle topper. If you've never experienced the sweet joys of huckleberries, you absolutely must order some jam or syrup. Click on the link.

Now that I've got that off my chest. I also must give a" shout out" to the funny-looking furry, yet deliciously juicy green kiwifruit. Gosh I heart kiwis. Here's an idea for a key lime pie, or use the shamrock topper for your favorite "leprechaun pudding." (Did anyone else make pistachio pudding to attract leprechauns on St. Patrick's Day in elementary school?)

May your St. Patty's Day be filled with Corned Beef and Cabbage, Irish Soda Bread, and some kind of Minty or Limey green dessert. No pinches please.

Oh yeah, and this pot of gold idea is too cute for young and old alike. It's just a hollowed lime filled with lemon jello jigglers.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It seems to me that you are bored if you have time to create this extravagent blog. Go get that fitness instructor job and do something useful with your time. PS - On the other hand it was funny ... keep'um coming!

Marissa Marie said...

I've never had corned beef and cabbage. But I'm not Irish, almost 100% Scandinavian and English. Hey, have you ever had buttermilk syrup? Very fatty, but soooo good. You make it, don't know the recipe though...

The Meade's said...

RANDOM!!! all very Random!! Hope you two are doing well!! Miss ya -Anne-Marie

Amy said...

I forgot about your kiwi fettish. I remember my mom would come home from the grocery store with one or two for you if you were at my house that day. It was either your house or my house, so the chances were pretty high that you were there! :)